Personally, what I’ve missed most during COVID is the lack of cahoots. It is practically impossible to be in cahoots with anyone, on anything, these days.

“The developer’s computer is constantly hosed” is the modern-day version of “The cobbler’s children have no shoes”.

Say 💥 are 🎇 there 🧨 a lot 💣 of 🌩 fireworks 🧨 near 💥 you?

Has anyone seen any studies on the efficacy of masks held dangling from one’s hand? Based on my own observations, I’m assuming it must be quite high.

I’m worried about Joe Biden’s mental state. He denied this sexual assault claim, sure, but he completely forgot to call the woman a horseface, or say she wasn’t his type.

“Thank you for being a business advantage checking relationship rewards platinum honors client” the bank clerk said, as we both drew markedly closer to our inevitable deaths.

The “Practice random acts of gardening” bumper sticker has to be the stupidest I’ve seen in August.

Not a single person in London has wished me a happy Fourth of July today, and that’s simply churlish.

If I saw you in San Jose this past week, it was a pleasure and I’m sorry we didn’t have a chance to chat further.

If I didn’t see you, let’s hope for better luck next time.